News Team
Sir Arthur Mitchell - Home Affairs
Now in his 60th year, Sir Arthur Mitchell has been with Bite the News since 2001. He began as a Parliamentary Sketch Writer before becoming a columnist, writing mainly on politics and national issues such as education and health. He won Columnist of the Year in 1991, ostensibly for his work in exposing the influence of the far left in Neil Kinnock’s Labour Party.
Known for his outspoken views, Sir Arthur is a rigorous defender of the free market suggesting that in a truely liberalised economy, ’every man, woman and child would have a price’. Indeed it was whilst arguing over such a price that Sir Arthur was arrested and jailed for three months back in 1996. However in true Mitchell style his prison memoirs entitled ‘Fit as a Butcher’s Dog’ became an instant best seller. Though now in semi-retirement, he uses his forum at Bite the News to promote his racist views to a whole new generation of readers.
Sally Belgrano - Arts & Entertainment
Sally Belgrano worked for some years for BBC Radio 4, as a reporter and a presenter on the Today programme and from 1998-2002 presented, ‘Where’s my Carrot?’, a gardening based TV programme on Sky TV. Sally left after a dispute about the show’s content , but Sky’s loss was ‘Bite the News’ gain, joining as a reporter in 2003. She was promoted to Chief Arts correspondent a year later.
Sally received an MBE in 2005 for her services to journalism and was Columnist of the Year in the same year. In her spare time she writes bestselling novels, most notably, ‘Dance,dance,dance, I can’t stop dancing’, a semi autobiographical work based on her experiences of the Rave scene during the early 90’s, and “ There’s your Bloody Carrot “, a parody of her earlier TV work . Her leftfield approach has not won her many friends within the Art World but she remains a firm favourite with ‘Bite the News’ readers.
Mark Randall - News Anchor
Mark Randall started out in BBC local radio in 1979. Moving to TV in 1986 as a reporter for BBC TV News. He became a familiar flak-jacketed figure reporting from war-torn countries around the globe, eventually winning a BAFTA for his “Outstanding Contribution to Newsworthiness”
Mark joined Bite The News last year following the publication of his salacious autobiography “He Probably Should Have Known Better” and the ensuing lawsuits.
Mark is a man of the people and recently finished refurbishing a 56-acre Elizabethan farmhouse that he now lets out to his fellow “Heat Magazine” friends to escape the paparazzi and “that scum from the estate”. Mark does not court fame but, if pressed, will make the odd appearence on “Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes”, “Celebrity Big Brother”, “Who Do You Think You’re Looking At?”, “Famous Moi?”, “Pro-Celebrity Bounty -Hunt”, “When Celebrities Go Mad”, “Me, Me, Me” or “Celebrity Mastermind” where he won the coveted title this year with the specialist subject “Everybody Loves Raymond - Season 4 Episode 11″
Dr. Jane Lister - Science & Technology
Dr. Jane Lister joined Bite the News in 1998 as a graduate trainee. She holds a PhD in Space Physics from Magdalen College, Oxford, where she analysed data sent from the Ulysses mission to investigate the Sun’s magnetic poles. In her column she writes about science, medicine and technology, and their impact on society.
Jane is 31 years of age and has yet to find a boyfriend. She believes that finding a perfect partner can be done by applying basic scientific principles. On romance she says…
“Any successful relationship must be based upon the Equilibrium Distribution Function, similar to that described by the Maxwell-Boltzmann distribution. If the principles of the ‘Hot Plasma Theory’ cannot be applied I can’t see how a relationship could possibly survive the stress of bringing up a young family.”
Socially Jane is the least popular member of the news team.
Peter Shankly - Sports
Peter Shankly worked as a news reporter on the Manchester Evening news for three years before joining the Bite the News team way back in 1994. Initially working as a Motor Racing Correspondent he covered the death of Ayrton Senna and Damon Hill’s world championship victory.
Appointed Football Correspondent in 2003, he was promoted to Chief Sports Correspondent earlier this year. A devoted environmentalist, Shankly refuses to sacrifice his principles and has often missed important events due to his insistence of travelling everywhere on horseback. He is due to set off for the 2008 Beijing Olympics sometime next week on a magnificent Swedish Warmblood. It is hoped, weather and traffic permitting, that Peter will arrive in China sometime in late June.
Andrew Rourke - Foreign Affairs
Andrew Rourke is a writer, broadcaster and commentator on international politics and the media. He joined the Bite the News team in May 2006. Rourke has previously written for The Guardian, The Observer and The Independent, winning numerous accolades along the way, including ‘Columnist of the Year’ in 2003 and ‘Britain’s Most Tattooed Man’ back in 2001.
He recently made a controversial appearance on the satirical BBC show Got any bread Mr. Baxter? - It is unlikely he will work on television again.
A little known fact is that Andrew Rourke has some graffiti written about the size of his column in the toilets at Buckingham Palace.
Peter Musgrove - Special Correspondent
Peter Musgrove has spent the last 25 years living in the shadow of his famous author brother Max. As Max’s career went from strength to strength publishing such comedy classics as, “Birdy, Birdy, Fly to me” and ” Derek, the Punch Drunk Morrocan Hero”, Peter appears to have wasted much of his time attempting to write more philosophical pieces which rarely, if ever get published.
Some of you may have read Peter’s “Critique of the Zionist Ideal” which appeared in the Sunday Times in May 1993. However, due to gross misrepresentation by the then editor, Mr Daniel Cohen, he had to leave his semi-detatched home in Edgware, Middlesex and relocate into a bedsit in Finsbury Park.
Briefly employing the services of Bob and Mick’s Personal Security Firm, to whom he still owe monies, Peter managed to avoid major assault from the far right organisation; “The Raging Rabbis” by cleverly disguising himself as a horse named “Dancing Patricia”. Peter’s 7th place in the 1996 Aintree Grand National is “A memory I will take with me to the grave”. Further, Peter has never been allowed back into White Hart Lane to watch his beloved Tottenham Hotspur, branded wrongly he feels, as an anti-semite with a penchant for ageing ladies with facial hair and dodgy hearts.
Naively Peter thought he could make amends to the Jewish community by writing the now notorious piece “The Qur’an, The Simpsons and The Lorry-Load of Shekels “, which unfortunately appeared to outrage the Moslem community in North London. A local fatwa was decreed and once again he was on the run having unintentionally inflamed the passions of two strong religious communities.
Peter would like to use this opportunity to apologise to anyone he has inadvertently offended. “At no point was I suggesting that Sideshow Bob had more moral integrity than Mohammed and as far as I am concerned if Israel wants the Gaza strip that’s good and dandy with me. If you can’t see your way to total forgiveness could you at least cease hostilities for 24 hours so I could go back and collect my car and stereo from Highlands Road, Barnet,” he said.
Peter now has to live at a secret location in Kent and is concentrating on writing Children’s stories. He spend most of his time, when not writing , playing Backgammon and trying to guess the value of items on the Antiques Roadshow.
In a statement from Peter’s publishers they say that his next book “Little Red Riding Hood and the Hairy-Arsed Priest” [due out in July] is not intended as an attack on the Catholic Church and any resemblance the lead character may have to Father Brendan Smyth is pure coincidence.
Peter joined the Bite the News team as special correspondent in May 2005
