“Buddhist Monk took me up the Kyber Pass”
April 6, 2008
With Buddhist Monks now all the rage, Samantha Morgan, 20 , from Leicester ,England, warns against their ‘other worldly charms’ . Pregnant with Holy man Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s child she told our reporter yesterday,
“My Mum Janet and stepdad Colin used to be friends with Lama Zopa, they used to attend the Buddhist monastry where he was studying to become a Brahmin , and believe me that’s the Dog’s Bollocks of Monkery ”
Sam continued,
“At first I trusted him. He would come out with words of wisdom such as,”
” ‘The secret of happiness lies in the mind’s release from physical possessions’, and then lean forward and grab my Cob ” [*].
” I’ll never forget the day he whispered in my ear,”
” ‘Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned’ , then asked me if I took it up the Ockhampton Bypass “.
“He assured me that Buddha would not allow, ‘life to be created between the two of us’ but as usual he was talking out of his arse .”
Sobbing uncontrollably Ms Morgan said,
” I only hope my story warns other young girls away from these Monks. Lama Zopa promised to ‘get in contact with my inner Karma’ . The only thing he ever seemed interested in touching was my Carly Simon “.
When I told him that I was expecting his child he simply clasped his hands together and said,
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles”.
“The bald headed twat”
.
[*] Quaint Leicestershire word meaning Roll, or Bap or in this case, left breast.
.
Comments
2 Responses to ““Buddhist Monk took me up the Kyber Pass””
Got something to say?
I hope you realize, that by by saying “Buddhist monk” you are referring to the monastics of (at least) three major world religions. (Mahayana, Theravada, and Vajrayana, not to mention many more).
Thus, in this case, putting forth the notion “Stay away from Buddhist monks” because some Tibetan Buddhist has sex with a girl, is similar to saying “Stay away from monotheistic priests” if some Jewish Rabbi had sex with a girl.
All you’re doing is singling out a case that happens in every strata of society as per human nature- a naive girl and an evil man. Or perhaps you’re dispelling the notion that just because a person belongs to a certain group that they are incapable of evil? How original- how insightful.
And if such a broad assumption can be made of such a large group based on the actions of a single member, well, then I better name some of the other groups whose members have raped and/or murdered to my knowledge:
Teachers…athletes…psychologists…mechanics…doctors…lawyers…janitors…celebrities…scientists…theists…agnostics…
So I guess girls better stay away from EVERYONE!
Welcome back to reality,
Jonathan.
Ahhh I’m so sorry I definitely did not realize this was a comedy post- no need to post my previous comment, sorry for wasting your time…
*sheepish grin*