Prince Harry in Afghanistan
February 29, 2008
It has emerged that Prince Harry has been secretly serving on the ‘front line’ in Afghanistan with British troops since December. The 23-year-old ginger-haired bullet-magnet, who is third in line to the throne, has spent the past 10 weeks as a forward air controller (FAC) guiding fighter jets towards suspected Taliban targets.
The army – which decided last year it was too ‘dangerous’ for Harry to serve in Iraq – deployed him to a secret location in case he became a Taliban target.
The news of the operational posting leaked out following the breakdown of a blackout agreement with the media, when the story was leaked by a complete idiot.
The chief of the general staff, Sir Richard Dannatt, who is head of the British army, expressed great disappointment over the leak. “I am very disappointed that some websites have decided to run this story without consulting us, I’ve absolutely no idea where they got their information from” Dannatt said.
“This is in stark contrast to the highly responsible attitude that the whole of the Bite The News Organisation has taken, they would never, ever, divulge the fact that Harry is staying in the Presidential suite of The Islamabad Hilton, Just over the border in Pakistan”
Prince Harry, sipping a cocktail and speaking from his Jacuzzi, says he has been fighting what he calls “Terry Taliban” and taking the opportunity to be “normal just like any other soldier that carries the Royal bloodline”. In interviews, the prince, whose job was to remotely monitor enemy soldiers’ movements transmitted on to computer screens nicknamed ‘Kill TV’, said: “Terry Taliban and his mates, as soon as they hear the aircraft go to ground, which makes life a little bit tricky. So having something that gives you a visual feedback from way up high means we can follow them. - I say ‘we’ that’s not the ‘Royal we’ of course, I wouldn’t be seen dead in Afghanistan.”
The prince said he considered leaving the army after the decision not to send him to Iraq. When told by his grandmother, the Queen, that he would be going to Afghanistan he said he felt “a bit of excitement, a bit of “phew, finally get the chance to actually blow the shit out of Johnny Foreigner I have wanted to do that from the first day I joined. I want to make granddad Phil proud of me”.
However, a palace aide has said, “No decision has yet been taken as to whether Harry will remain there. Although his bar and prostitute bill is becoming a bit of a burden on the British taxpayer”.
Prince Harry has one of the world’s largest collections of Nazi memorabilia.
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