Pete Doherty Apologises for Behaviour
February 15, 2008
In an unprecedented move today Pete Doherty, lead singer with the band Babyshambles, has apologised unreservedly to his family, Kate Moss, his fans, fellow band members, his record company and most of all, the paparazzi for appearing, for the third night in a row, stone-cold sober and really quite well-behaved.
“I just can’t help myself,” said Mr. Doherty. “It’s like I get this uncontrollable urge to be polite. I’ll hold doors open for whoever’s behind me. I even said ‘Good Morning’ to a cameraman last week. I feel like I’ve been battling these demons for some time now and I want to come clean and admit to everyone that I’m now utterly reliable. If that weren’t enough I find that I am keeping all the receipts for any electrical goods that I buy.”
The Babyshambles frontman regarded the incident as “a stupid, stupid action for which I feel only shame.”
Looking refreshed after a good night’s sleep Mr. Doherty went on to say “It’s a disease. I’m trying to get help but Keith Richards just won’t return any of my calls.”
Mr. Doherty was last seen entering the Bromley branch of DFS with Amy Winehouse.
His probation officer has taken voluntary redundancy.
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I have always been a huge fan of Doherty. I had heard some rumours about him taking out an ISA account with the Nat West. And even more worrying, I had read somewhere that he was seen discussing life assurance with a man from the PRU.
But to be honest I decided to ignore these and put them down to malicious gossip. However I need to face the truth about my hero. He is not the man he once was. The fire has gone out.
It hurts so much but thank you ‘Bite the News’ for helping me to realise that one shouldn’t really put people on pedestals. They always fall off !!.